its been a while since i started writing again.. i guess i could call it with a dash of sophistication as the writer's block. what i do realize now is that i had lost the interest to inspect and dwell on trivial and the most mundane day to day tasks. When you stop thinking beyond the obvious reality, your topics, writings, thoughts start drying up. i guess that's what happened to me. i stopped relishing the simplest moments in my life and of course, writing about them. instead, i started enjoying the momentary transitional pleasures of life- enjoy and forget it as quickly as it started.
well, the reason i felt like blogging today of all days was simple. i have gone back to my primary source of enjoyment - reading books. there is nothing to trigger a flood of emotions or thoughts as effectively as a good book.
how often have all of us wanted to meet some person who could understand whatever your small and ever twisted brain was going through at that moment? without the need for you to express yourself- through words, painting, any medium what so ever. it is not that say, person X knows you since birth. I have had understanding issues even with my Mum who knows me since birth...or even before that.. It is just that X can understand your inner turmoil, the inner power struggles between the angel and the devil, everything... its not even about understanding about what i am trying to convey.. its more about understanding what am not trying to convey.. mis-communication is even more dangerous than no communication in the first place... so am i searching for my own conscience? who knows me in and out ? who wont judge me for my actions or my mere thought process? am i trying to search for the ideal world where everyone understood each other without any verbal communication... a long list.. in some way or the other, aren't we all searching for the mirage?
On the other hand, you do meet so many people, who would not be able to understand your emotions even if the wordsworths and kiplings of the world tried penning them for you.. my bad.. oversight in even thinking that the lesser mortals would understand these people's work nevertheless.. i would say i have wasted many breath and red bull over these creatures, in the faint hope that i would be able to re kindle some kind of non- existential understanding.. Probably, due to the very same experiences have i become this cynical at this stage of even trying out new prospects.. am i missing out on my quest or am i giving it all up a bit too early?
well, the reason i felt like blogging today of all days was simple. i have gone back to my primary source of enjoyment - reading books. there is nothing to trigger a flood of emotions or thoughts as effectively as a good book.
how often have all of us wanted to meet some person who could understand whatever your small and ever twisted brain was going through at that moment? without the need for you to express yourself- through words, painting, any medium what so ever. it is not that say, person X knows you since birth. I have had understanding issues even with my Mum who knows me since birth...or even before that.. It is just that X can understand your inner turmoil, the inner power struggles between the angel and the devil, everything... its not even about understanding about what i am trying to convey.. its more about understanding what am not trying to convey.. mis-communication is even more dangerous than no communication in the first place... so am i searching for my own conscience? who knows me in and out ? who wont judge me for my actions or my mere thought process? am i trying to search for the ideal world where everyone understood each other without any verbal communication... a long list.. in some way or the other, aren't we all searching for the mirage?
On the other hand, you do meet so many people, who would not be able to understand your emotions even if the wordsworths and kiplings of the world tried penning them for you.. my bad.. oversight in even thinking that the lesser mortals would understand these people's work nevertheless.. i would say i have wasted many breath and red bull over these creatures, in the faint hope that i would be able to re kindle some kind of non- existential understanding.. Probably, due to the very same experiences have i become this cynical at this stage of even trying out new prospects.. am i missing out on my quest or am i giving it all up a bit too early?
